Digitally Speaking

There are only 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who don't.

(Anonymous)

The Importance of Society

As you journey through life take a minute every now and then to give a thought for the other fellow. He could be plotting something.

Hagar the Horrible (Chris Browne)

Of Fat Ladies ...

When an opera star sings her head off, she usually improves her appearance.

Victor Borge

Feline Folly ?

The cat could very well be man's best friend but would never stoop to admitting it.

Doug Larson

Cool ! Acid Wit

Hydrochloric acid is great fun, but liquid nitrogen is cooler.

Evis Tyrer

Physics Lesson

Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons, that you cannot see with the naked eye unless you have been drinking.

Dave Barry

Faint Praise, Anyone ?

Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance, or a stranger.

Franklin P. Jones

Supporters

Those who agree with us may not be right, but we admire their astuteness.

Cullen Hightower

Courtesy

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

Mark Twain

Age-ism

The denunciation of the young is a necessary part of the hygiene of older people, and greatly assists in the circulation of their blood.

Logan Pearsall Smith

Double Standards ?

A man can sleep around, no questions asked, but if a woman makes nineteen or twenty mistakes, she's a tramp.

Joan Rivers

That's My Problem, Too !

I don't make mistakes. I make prophecies which immediately turn out to be wrong.

Murray Walker

Know One ?

A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and won't change the subject.

Winston Churchill

In the Trade of Life ...

Money can't buy love, but it improves your bargaining position.

Christopher Marlowe

Entomologically speaking

Time flies like the wind. Fruit flies like bananas.

Groucho Marx

Why Buying Time is Popular

Change is inevitable ... except from a vending machine.

Robert C Gallagher

Influential People

I saw a subliminal advertising executive, but only for a second.

Steven Wright

Sometimes true

People demand freedom of speech as a compensation for the freedom of thought which they seldom use.

Soren Kierkegaard

Stay Flexible

"Always" and "never" are two words you should always remember never to use.

Wendell Johnson

Storage

I have the world's largest collection of seashells. I keep it on all the beaches of the world... perhaps you've seen it.

Steven Wright