A Modest Request

All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

Spike Milligan

Wife-beating and similar questions

Who started this blame culture, anyway ?

Brendan K.O'Rourke

Silver Lining

One of the advantages of being disorderly is that one is constantly making exciting discoveries.

A. A. Milne

All Credit ...

Education is a wonderful thing. If you couldn't sign your name, you'd have to pay cash.

Rita Mae Brown

Rational Analysis

Absurdity, n.: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own opinion.

Ambrose Bierce

Surprisingly true

The only reason some people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.

Paul Fix

Human Input

The real problem is not whether machines think but whether men do.

B. F. Skinner

Short-term Job Offered

I don't want any yes-men around me. I want everybody to tell me the truth even if it costs them their job.

Samuel Goldwyn

Perspective

Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia.

Charles M. Schulz

The Only Thing

In spite of the cost of living, it's still popular.

Laurence J. Peter

Vote Democrat ?

The Republicans are the party that says government doesn't work and then they get elected and prove it.

P.J.O'Rourke(no relation)

Different Strokes

A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live.

Bob Hope

Writing Tip

Don't use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice.

(author unknown)

Sounds Like Ireland Not Too Long Ago

Here in the Mid-West, having a real good time is considered okay provided that you don't let it happen again.

Garrison Keillor

Can't Argue with That

Lawsuit: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.

Ambrose Bierce

Ancient Secrets

America had often been discovered before Columbus, but it had always been hushed up.

Oscar Wilde

Medical Tip

My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people.

Orson Welles

Health Hazards

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

Mark Twain

Me too

I love being a writer. What I can't stand is the paperwork.

Peter de Vries

Silence as a Policy

One of the lessons of history is that nothing is often a good thing to do and always a clever thing to say.

Will Durant